The Forest Where Monsters Live - Chapter 7

 7. Revelations

The stable yielded only a small cart—not the carriage Johann had taken.  

This rickety thing, pulled by a mule, was meant for hauling goods to town, not passengers.  

Leticia clutched the wooden rails as Benjamin urged the mule forward, the cart jolting over uneven ground.  

The manor shrank behind them.  

'Can we really escape like this?'  

The cart felt flimsy. Benjamin looked just as precarious, his hunched frame swaying with each bump. She should’ve taken the reins—but he’d insisted.  

'He knows these woods better,' he’d said.  

True enough.  

'The fire did this to him...'

That beautiful boy was now a grotesque.  

Yet after thirteen years of living as a monster, why was he helping her?  

Why didn’t he hate her like Johann did?  

Her fingers brushed the bag at her feet—packed by Benjamin. The coat she wore was his too.  

He’d prepared everything.  

Likely in secret, knowing Johann would object.  

"Benjamin."  

His name felt foreign on her tongue.  

She’d once called him Oppa.  

Too much time had passed for that.  

"I can go alone."  

"Snow’s picking up," he said, not turning. "If we don’t hurry, we’ll be trapped."  

Leticia looked up.  

Grey clouds churned overhead, flakes swirling down.  

"You seem tired."  

"Appearances deceive. I’ve always wanted to drive a cart. Johann just never let me."  

His quiet laugh sent an ache through her chest.  

The Benjamin she remembered had been fearless—climbing trees even after breaking his leg, chasing fireflies through midnight forests without hesitation.  

Always smiling. Always brave.  

Johann, by contrast, had been cautious. Prone to complaints. But obedient to his brother.  

"Don’t hate Johann too much."  

The cart wheels crunched over snow.  

"He carries his own burdens. He doesn’t know how to put them down, so he lashes out. You just happened to be there."  

"Then who do I lash out at?"  

She bit her lip.  

She could accept his explanation.  

But if Johann’s cruelty was just misdirected rage—what about her ruined life? Who bore the blame for that?  

"I’ll apologize in his place."  

She didn’t want apologies.  

Nor did she need revenge.  

Right now, all she wanted was to forget.  

If she could escape this manor—that madman—she’d lock these memories away forever.  

If they made it out alive.  

Silence settled between them.  

Snowflakes dusted their shoulders, their footprints vanishing behind them as the storm grew.  

***

"Baron—!"

The stablemaster rushed toward Johann in a panic.  

Johann was already mounted on his horse. Overhead, the blizzard had begun anew—within the hour, the forest would be buried once more.  

"Baron! You can’t go into the woods now—it’s suicide!"

The stablemaster’s face was ashen.  

Johann had just returned from town with the physician, Dr. Lennox, only to find Benjamin’s bed empty.  

The moment he saw it, he’d sprinted to Leticia’s room.  

Gone.  

The mule and cart—gone.  

Had Leticia threatened Benjamin into helping her escape? Or had Benjamin chosen to betray him?  

Johann didn’t know.  

All he knew was that Leticia had fled, and Benjamin was somewhere in those woods.  

The thought of her made his blood boil.  

The thought of Benjamin made his blood run cold.  

Benjamin couldn’t endure this.  

Trapped in the forest, in this cold, in this storm—he might not survive.  

Benjamin could die.

Johann had imagined his brother’s death a hundred times.  

It was the worst thing that could happen to him.  

["What if I die?"]

["You know. I’m reaching my limit."] 

If Benjamin died—Johann would die too.  

They were twins. Born on the same day, at the same hour.  

They were meant to be together. Meant to share everything.  

Hannah had shattered that.  

Her fire had ruined everything.  

And since then, Benjamin and Johann had lived different lives.  

Everything Johann had—his title, his wealth—was built on Benjamin’s sacrifice.  

Benjamin had given himself up so Johann could live.  

But this wasn’t a life Johann had wanted to live.  

His parents’ deaths, Benjamin’s scars—every time he thought of them, he wished for death.  

The only thing that kept him going was knowing Benjamin needed him.  

But if Benjamin died?  

There’d be no reason left to endure this wretched existence.  

If Benjamin dies, I die.  

That was Johann’s resolve.  

He’d lost the meaning of life long ago.  

The only things that kept him going were his hatred for Hannah and her daughter—and his duty to Benjamin.  

But now?  

His revenge was over.  

If he lost Benjamin too, he’d end it all.  

Burn the manor down. Let the flames consume him.  

But that was only after Benjamin’s death.  

Right now, Benjamin was still alive.  

Somewhere in those woods.  

"Take Dr. Lennox to the manor," Johann ordered. "I’ll find my brother. When I bring him back, the doctor’s help will be needed—do not let him leave."**  

He wheeled his horse toward the forest.  

All he could do was pray they hadn’t gone far.  

That the snow hadn’t yet erased the cart’s tracks.  

Digging his heels into the horse’s sides, Johann charged into the storm.  

***

"Crash—!"

Benjamin flung open the door of the hunter’s cabin, dragging Letitia inside by the hand.  

The two, covered head to toe in snow, staggered into the cabin and collapsed.  

Though the inside was still bitingly cold, at least they had escaped the blizzard.  

The heavy snowfall had gradually intensified into a raging storm, and before they could make it out of the forest, Benjamin had steered the carriage in this direction, knowing there was a cabin hunters used nearby.  

"Haa… haa…"

Benjamin gasped for breath, his chest heaving.  

Letitia, too, trembled violently, her body frozen stiff as she curled into herself. Every inch of her was white with snow, her skin ice-cold. The cold was merciless—her coat did nothing to shield her.  

Still sprawled on the floor, Benjamin crawled toward the fireplace, now nothing but cold ashes. He pulled a match from his pocket, struck it, and lit his handkerchief on fire. Tossing the burning cloth into the fireplace, he piled the remaining firewood on top. Soon, the flames caught, and the wood began to burn.  

"Letitia, come here and warm yourself."  

Once he confirmed the fire was steady, Benjamin called out to the shivering girl.  

Regret crept into his heart.  

If they had stayed at the estate, none of this would have happened. Letitia wouldn’t have nearly frozen to death.  

But then again, if they had stayed, she would have been subjected to Johan’s abuse again.  

Which was worse—being violated or freezing to death?  

"The blizzard will pass soon."  

It wasn’t even evening yet.  

Despite the daylight, the storm was so fierce that visibility was nearly zero. A midday blizzard like this wouldn’t last as long as one in the dead of night—it would likely die down soon.  

‘Has Johan returned by now…?’

That was Benjamin’s biggest worry.  

Johan would have noticed their disappearance by now. And knowing him, he’d be furious, already on their trail.  

The only silver lining was that the storm might erase their tracks, making it harder for Johan to find them. Or perhaps the blizzard would slow him down enough that he couldn’t pursue them at all.  

"Letitia. Are you still cold?"  

Benjamin took off his own coat and draped it over her.  

Now wrapped in two layers, Letitia sat hunched over, trembling, while Benjamin, left with only his hooded cloak, sat beside her. His body shook just as violently.  

Benjamin was weak against the cold.  

He had never been exposed to such harsh weather before.  

For thirteen years, Johan had protected him.  

Johan had been the perfect guardian, ensuring Benjamin never had to endure hardship like this.  

He had lived without ever knowing how cruel winter could be.  

Johan had shielded him all this time—but in doing so, he had also suffered alone.  

For years, he had shouldered everything—protecting his sickly brother, bearing the weight of their family’s tragedies, all by himself.  

Benjamin wasn’t trying to excuse what Johan had done to Letitia.  

But he knew—better than anyone—that Johan’s heart had been rotting away for a long time.  

In the end, everyone had been hurt that day.  

Everyone had become a monster.  

Johan. Himself.  

And Letitia, too.  

[Then who am I supposed to take my anger out on?]

She hadn’t cried, but her voice had been thick with tears.  

In the end, they had all been wounded.  

All of them had turned into monsters.  

None of the three were truly at fault.  

No one was responsible for what had happened back then.  

They were all just victims.  

And yet, they had become the monsters.  

"Letitia."  

Benjamin looked at her—huddled under two coats, head bowed, shivering.  

"I know you’ve suffered too… and I know what Johan did to you was unforgivable… I know it’s shameless of me to even ask for your forgiveness… but I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Johan has been in agony for so long. That’s why his heart is sick."

"I…"  

Letitia murmured, still staring at the ground.  

"It’s not like I… lived an easy life either…"  

"I know."

"What do you know?"**  

She lifted her head slightly, pressing her forehead against her knees as she glared at him. Resentment flickered across her pale face.  

"I’ve… killed people." 

Her lips trembled as she spoke.  

"I’ve killed… so many."  

"Letitia." 

"They tried to rape me. So I killed them first. I grew up in the slums. The place I ran away to—the only place I could escape to—was just another slum. My mother sold her body to survive. After losing my memories in that carriage accident, I grew up there, not knowing anything. I spent every day wondering why God would do this to me. I cursed Him. Every single day, I asked why—why me? I cried, I begged, I just wanted to escape… If only I could get out, I thought I could do anything…"  

Benjamin could only listen.  

This wasn’t his pain.  

He had no right to offer empty comfort.  

For thirteen years, he had suffered.  

For thirteen years, Johan had suffered. 

And for those same thirteen years, Letitia had suffered too.  

Just as no one else could truly understand his pain, no one could understand hers.  

Pretending otherwise would be hypocrisy. 

 

"Every night, I dreamed of escaping that hell. I prayed—begged—for someone to save me. Even though I knew no one would answer, I still hoped… that one day, an angel would descend from the sky and rescue me." 

Letitia fiddled with the pendant around her neck.  

"Back when I had no memories, I used to stare at this pendant and wonder… who ‘B’ and ‘J’ were. But no matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t remember. So I made up a story. That they were princes. That one of them had left this pendant for me while I slept, and that one day, they’d come back for me. I lived like that—writing my own fairy tale. I told myself that if I just kept sleeping and waking up, someday, the prince would appear, and then… I’d finally be happy."

Her fingers clenched around the pendant.  

"Stupid, right? Like that would ever happen… Do you know what I’m thinking now?" 

"No."  

"I wish… I had never remembered. I wish I had just kept falling down those stairs and never woken up. Because then… I could have just hated Johan. I could have despised him—called him a monster, a disgusting beast, and ground my teeth in rage."

"In that fire."

Benjamin blew on his freezing hands.  

Even as the firewood burned, the chill in the cabin refused to fade.  

Was it because there wasn’t enough wood?  

Or was it because their hearts were too cold?  

"Father died."

"……"

At Benjamin’s words, Letitia squeezed her eyes shut.  

Now she understood why the Baron had been absent from Hildesheim Castle.  

"He ran into the flames to save us. His voice—I can still hear it. ‘Take your brother and go!’ he kept shouting."

"I… didn’t know…"  

"That day, you had a fever. Johan was so worried. ‘What if Hannah doesn’t take her to a doctor?’ he kept asking. He even said he’d sneak into your room in the middle of the night to check on you. Johan… was always like that. Always worrying about you. But then the fire broke out. The door wouldn’t open. No matter how much we pounded and screamed, it wouldn’t budge. The flames spread… and Johan started crying. When I saw the fire catch on his clothes, I don’t even know what came over me. I grabbed the bedsheet, wrapped it around him, and held on. The fire burned me. It hurt so much I thought I’d die… but I couldn’t let go. My face was burning, I couldn’t breathe… I was terrified, but I couldn’t even cry. And then… Father broke down the door. He threw me out first, then tossed Johan—still wrapped in the sheet—right after. After that… he collapsed. And never got up again."  

Like a confession.  

Like an excuse.  

Like a defense.  

Who was he explaining this to?  

Who was he defending?  

Who was this confession for?  

"And then Mother died. Back then… we were only eleven. I was burned so badly I hovered between life and death. Johan had to handle everything alone—our parents’ funeral, protecting the estate, protecting me… All of it fell on the shoulders of an eleven-year-old boy. And on top of that… the guilt of not being able to save me. Letitia. Johan didn’t become a monster—I turned him into one. That fire, that tragedy… it pushed him to this. Just like how your circumstances pushed you to kill. Neither of you wanted this. You were both just… forced into it."  

Benjamin looked at her.  

"You and Johan—you’re the same. But if you keep justifying your actions, you’ll become real monsters. I still believe it’s not too late. For all of us. It’s not too late for you, and it’s not too late for Johan. We still have time left to live. We still have a chance to change. If the life ahead of us can be twice—no, three times—happier than the suffering we’ve endured, then I want you and Johan to seize that chance. A chance to be happy again. A chance to crawl out of the swamp that’s been dragging you down."

Benjamin still believed it wasn’t too late. 

Even if this felt like despair, as long as they were alive, they could still change.  

Yes, their hands were stained with blood.  

Yes, their sins were heavy.  

Yes, their pasts were horrific. 

But if they gave up now, things would only get worse.  

If they struggled now, maybe—just maybe—they could still turn things around.  

That was what Benjamin hoped for.  

He wanted Letitia—still so small in his eyes—to break free from her suffering.  

He wanted his twin to break free from his guilt.  

He wanted the two people he loved most to stop hurting, to stop hating.  

The wounds they had inflicted on each other wouldn’t fade easily.  

It would take time.  

But no matter how long it took, he desperately wished for them to sever the chains of the past.  

Benjamin knew he didn’t have much time left.  

A year?  

Three, at most?  

His life would end soon enough.  

But for those who still had a chance, he wanted to leave behind happiness.  

That was why he was helping Letitia escape now.  

"You…"  

After listening silently, Letitia finally spoke in a whisper.  

"You don’t… resent me?" 

In a way, Benjamin was the greatest victim of all.  

He had suffered more horribly than either her or Johan.  

And yet, this man—who had helped her escape, who had given her his own coat—didn’t seem to resent her at all.  

Letitia needed to know.  

Did he truly not blame her?  

Not her, and not her mother?  

"I’m glad… I got to see you again."

Benjamin smiled faintly.  

"For thirteen years… I worried about you. ‘When it thunders, she must be so scared she’s crying…’ I always thought that."  

Letitia buried her face in her knees.  

Tears threatened to spill over.  

No one had ever said such things to her before.  

That they were happy to see her.  

That they had worried about her.  

Such warm, tender words—she had never heard them in her life.  

For thirteen years, she had been so cold.  

Her winter had lasted thirteen long years.  

She had thought her heart was frozen solid—that it would never thaw.  

But now, she could feel it melting.  

How strange—that something frozen for so long could melt so easily.  

"I’ll check if the blizzard has stopped, Letitia."

Benjamin stood, leaving Letitia with her face still hidden.  

But before he could open the door, it was flung open violently from the outside.

***

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